by Larry Chiang

Founders have bad credit and get it one of two ways. Not making enough money (obviously). And not so obvious, making too much money. Why?!: You won’t have car loans because you’re liquid!

Here are 10 tips for founders and their FICO score…

1. Money in > Money Out.

If this currently isn’t true, then when will it be true. Post it on a treasure wall of goals.

Treasure management.

So lets say Money in > Money Out, there still will be short falls where credit covers expenses. This is where stress occurs.

-2- Twice a month for 10 minutes do something to measure your credit quality.

I recommend a sweep of every account on your credit report. I also recommend logging into every credit card account 2x/month. If you wanna credit FICO buddie to remind you two days a month, text message me your first and last name.

The cost. I’m just trying to help you, so I guess it’s just free.

-3- Help someone with their credit.

No you can NOT give them my cell phone but you can point them towards getting a free credit report in the mail. What?! You don’t have yours?! Hypocrite! You want to use the magic of the Internet?! Long story short, you can’t, can’t can not.

Not.

If you’d like to argue this I suggest you save pain and just mail it
in.

Remember, you live in a country that can land a person on the moon with analog technology, but you can’t properly download a PDF from the unholy trinity of trans union, equifax or experian.

-4- Sign it Once.

Integrate the date into signatures. Why, you should see how easy it is to photoshop one signature onto a guarantee doc with your house as collateral?! Easy, weasie, japan-easie.

-5- Learn to love paper and mailing stuff.

Disputes must be done via snail mail. Emailing does you zero good. Calling does you less good. The fcra protects peoples rights via snail mail disputes only.

Oh and cc creditCard.org electronically all documents you mail the unholy trinity of trans union, equifax or experian.

-6- Be an Under Consumer

There is no such thing as fake-it-til-you-make-it anymore. What was a quasi possible strategy in the 80s definitely won’t work now. Plus stress from Money Out > Money in makes you retarded.

-7- Get a WIKI page to track you credit.

It looks like this and when you do your page, I’ll be your credit coach. I will be free. Why?! Cuz you won’t do shitake with this offer cuz you’re a looo-ser and you’re waiting for your overnight success so you’ll never worry about money.

News flash. 1.) GooG luck, and 2) even when you’re rich you’re still dealing with money problems. After a date I need to know exactly where every one of my sperm is cuz I don’t want a paternity suit costing me another 40k/year on a reach-around.

-8- Weekly Liquidity Event.

Pull some money off the table EVERY week.

-9- 70-20-10 Your Money and Your Time.

70% for essentials

20% for investment

10% you treat as house money. House money is not your money/time so go blow it, save it or give it.

-10- goals focused on twice per day buddie buddy. I would choose 11-11-11 which is all ones on your credit report. 1′s are on-time payment and 9s are charge-off. Good luck ducking 9s

Larry Chiang is CEO of Duck9. He is working on a book project “What They Don’t Teach You At Stanford Business School.”

Larry’s earlier posts in this series include:

9 Things Stanford B-School Won’t Teach You;

9 VCs You’re Gonna Want to Avoid;

and Hack Your Startup Credit Rating.