Our guest blogger, Larry Chiang, is an instructive humorist. If you liked 9 VC’s You’re Gonna Want To Avoid, you’ll like this submission on some all-important mentorship societies. We’re supporting his “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School” session at Blog World
by Larry Chiang
Be a party promoter to find people to help you with your business. I don’t mean produce parties, but rather promote yourself at a party to increase your likelihood of finding mentors.
-1- Party Fundamentals 101. Work mixer parties have a syntax and optimal operation. Read and memorize ‘how to work a room’. It’s a ‘Best Article of the Day’ / techmeme quality post that outlines nine tips on gracing a party. This mastery coupled with your tier one academic pedigree willl absolutely increase your likelihood of lead generating a mentor.
-2- Tap into “A Secret Societies of Entrepreneurs”, where “asse9″ is an example. Another example is the NFL Owners Party in Falcon Field in Mesa Arizona. These secret societies don’t have a website… they just have breadcrumb clues. Often, you’ll get wind of it 2 or 3 days post party. Here’s a crumbie clue for you, search “#Asse9″ and you’ll get a happy ending.
Also, if you’re lucky, a hitter will text message you prior to an event… I’m a hitter and maybe we can be sms buddies. 650-283-8008 .
-3- Hack your way in. Crash your way into an event but you better back up your chutzpah with some talent. And be prepared to add value. Add no party value and your personal stock actually can drop by going to a party.
-4- Waitlist Yourself. The best parties are full and sell out. Even though I blog for GigaOm and have an industry ass-kicking company, Duck9…, I’m not above waiting in a holding pattern. The PRO manuever is migrating from waitlist to VIP where your wrangler is the party HOST.
-4b- Another PRO manuver is being able to set aside your alpha status. Getting told no and asking to wait is a pride swallowing experience. George Clooney sets aside his top dog status and defers to Brad Pitt.
-4c- Mr Clooney also promotes like a first time producer. He isn’t in the trailer between takes, he is working the production staff and their +1s. Even though he snubbed me for a Father’s Day interview, I’m still a fan cuz of his ability to set aside Alpha status.
-5- Reciprocate. Reciprocate with some type of host ‘thank you’. Flowers if you’re a hitter saying ThankYou or an email if you’re regular. Your goal is for the host to say something nice and this increases your deal flow for mentors.
-6- Be Sweet and Sour. What makes an egg roll soooo good?! Answer: Sweet and Sour Sauce. Sweet is being really nice to nice people in a sugary over-the-top kinda way.
Sour is being mean to gamma males peeing up the food chain. ???, Secret society lingo decoder: gamma males will try to attain false alpha status by knocking betas and alphas down. Peeing up is putting people down. Food chain refers to the pecking order alpha, gamma, beta, and delta.
-7- Girl Advice in Girl Talk. Am channeling on my ‘Lauren Chiang’ persona and attempting to mentor females… Be ok with going alone. This is aimed squarely at the 23 y.o. freshly minted college co-ed. Expand your world and your network 10 fold be navigating events by yourself.
-7b- If u go with a friend, don’t rockPile.
-7c- If u get hotboxed by creepy dudes, text me and I’ll be supersonic and be on your wing cockblocking and teamplaying
-7d- Woo a female mentor with girl charm. Getting a male mentor at an event is near impossible manuver. Remember, he pretty much is talking to you for more more or more P****. Rarely will you meet a dude who sets aside his need for both (money and puddy)
-7e- Be safe. Call for a car. Get someone to walk you. Remember, downtown Palo Alto can be preee-eety dangerous so you might wanna text me to walk you if I’m not already at the event.
-8- Pre-promo yourself with an ADVANCE email / message / confirmation to the party host if you’re a girl. I specifically say FEMALE because if you’re a man, you’re genetically encoded to not plan ahead.
in 15 minute increments, pre-promo yourself with an email will be impossible for you to do.
-9- best tip for last…”Party Promo to Generate Leads for Mentors”. Close a for a mentor via email. You’ll have to call me for the secret URL which I’ll sell you for $29.95 cuz its THAT VALUABLE
PayPal me at firstname.lastname@example.org
JK, here it is… for those of you who rapidly sent money, I’ll refund it when I login next. For your own good, I’d charge you and then REFUND YOU after you do it once cuz it works. Giving it to you for free is like throwing it away
Here’s the worst vice, free advice worth $30++ in how to close a mentor via email.
A) ping their email. Short simple sweet to confirm their email address.
B) ask them an easy one and interlace with genuine compliments. Make your email a vacation. 1000 emails filled with crap, junk and crap.
C) Set up a schedule of contact.
D) close for their cell phone number. When you’re a hitter like me, you can getta hitter dudes number asap. Read man-charm. If they say no or push back you’ll know where you stand.
E) its ok that a couple emails get unaswered… afterall you’re the beta/delta looking for alpha attention.
F) get some
G) set aside your need for short term anything
Larry Chiang is the founder of duck9, which educates collegestudent on how to establish and maintain a FICO score over 750. He is a frequent contributor to GigaOm’s Found|Read. His earlier posts include: How to Work The Room; 8 Tips On How to Get Mentored ; and 9 VCs You’re Gonna Want To Avoid. You can read more equally funny, but non-founder-focused-lessons on Larry’s Amazon blog.