Larry is a guest blogger and if you’ve read, “Hip Hop Schools Silicon Valley”, “21 Lucky Tips to Ace Blogworld” or “Communication 2.0“, “Five Ways to Hack SXSW” then maybe you’ll like his latest: “7 People To Avoid At SXSW”
By Larry Chiang
SXSW Interactive is a dolled up, gem of a conference for web 2.0ers in the know. I personally love accurate weather forecasts and getting a scouting report before getting to a party. Make no mistake, SXSW is a fun party where you can get your learn on.
To better help you get the lay of the SXSW land, I character-compass seven types of people to avoid.
-1- Spray-n-Prey Venture Capitalist
Investment technique is similar to conference selection methodology. Always attend New York Fashion Week, TED in Long Beach CA, Media Summit in NY, and mixers at a dirty Vegas conference.
They either have an investment thesis, his WAVC (Western Assoc Venture Capitalist) buddies will think is genius 10 years from now or they’re just boondoggling.
-2- Badgeless.
Flew in from California and still badgeless. How sad. These types will mooch hotel floor space that will later turn into squatting for sofa space. Mr. Badgeless goes to parties thinking that popularity boosts shareholder value. It doesn’t. Taking copious notes, pressing palms after sessions, and following-up does.
-3- In-a-meeting.
Has a platinum pass but hasn’t seen one session and is wedged in back-to-back-to-back meetings. Doesn’t leave the only five star hotel in Austin and rotates three meeting areas at 98 San Jacinto so they can still be 20 minutes late even though he’s on site.
-4- The Pseudo Staffer.
This person is a volunteer but they oh-so have an agenda. They’re not paid, but pretending to be a full staffer. At SXSW Film, they’re pitching scene treatments and a partial script. At SXSW Music they’re promoting two bands. At SXSW Interactive they’re dabbling in the idea or raising VC money for their start-up.
Di-worse-ify is very similar to Spray-and-Prey.
-5- Last Minute Promoter.
Jumped on Mobissimo.com and booked a last minute ticket. Over ordered Kinko’s supplies in the hopes for a big response. Cutting and Pasting @zappos will get you some brand traction, but joining a parade is easier than starting one at the last minute.
-6- Austin Poser.
This twice a year Austinite is from Palo Alto. The other time he’s here for a week plus is ACL. This poser wants so much to be a local that he has a local 512 cell, a Yelp profile and co-working space on 6th street.
-7- Conference Romeo.
It’s ok to say ‘hi’ and expand our network outside our bubble. In my case it’s my cubicle + sororities that invite me to speak on FICO and credit. In short, full-on conference hook-ups are a no-no.
Needing a carnal commitment ASAP is weird. Remember, if they’re at a work conference and can be distracted by your hawt ass, how good can they be at work? Rising “hitters” use man-charm up until closing time of a conference mixer.
If you do see someone you romantically like, drop them a note and reconnect after a conference.
Hope to see you in Austin. I’ll be on the Twitter so check @larryChiang for updates. Or we can roll old school by text messaging my cellie, 650-283-8008. I keep office hours so you can even call me (don’t call to see if I’ll pickup cuz I will so you better have a question for me 
